I usually take into consideration this one time, just a few years in the past, when my accomplice and I had been looking for a spot to lease. One of many residences we checked out was lovely. It was spacious—unusually so—with slick, picket floorboards that made you are feeling such as you had been in a ballet studio. There have been two loos, one on every finish, and a ceiling-to-floor mirror in every bed room. It was precisely inside price range, an ideal location. Nevertheless, once we left, we each agreed to go away it. “There’ll be a great deal of curiosity,” considered one of us mentioned. “So what’s the purpose?” The flat, we’d determined, was too good for us. We didn’t wish to be rejected.
Whereas the selection was hardly life-altering, I’ve usually thought of it as an allegory for my relationship to rejection extra usually. To not sound like the kind of one who does TED Talks or seems on enterprise podcasts, however what number of different alternatives have probably handed me by as a result of I used to be too fearful of that little two-letter phrase, no? What number of instances have I narrowed the alternatives proper in entrance of me as a result of I didn’t really feel adequate to think about them? And what’s so scary concerning the mere menace of rejection, anyway? It’s a easy “no”—not a beheading. And generally, in fact, it’s a sure.
It was within the useless interval between Christmas and the New Yr that I began being fed limitless TikToks about “searching for rejection.” Why would anybody do this? I assumed, mindlessly scrolling, mouth most likely open. Absolutely that will make you are feeling like shit. However I did discover myself changing into more and more intrigued. This one lady, Gabriella, had spent the 12 months making an attempt to be rejected 1,000 instances. In among the many rejections had been fairly just a few stunning moments through which she’d acquired a sure. She’d tried to be rejected for a nationwide pageant title, “however they accepted me. So now I’m a nationwide pageant title holder.” She’d tried to be rejected for a Dutch passport, “however they accepted me, so now I’m a Dutch citizen.” “Let this be your signal,” she concluded. “Chase rejection.”
Others shortly adopted go well with. “In 2026, I’m making an attempt to get rejected 1,000 instances,” mentioned one lady, Henrietta. “I’m so fearful of failure, and I’m so fearful of rejection, that lots of instances I don’t put myself on the market.” One other poster, Leila, additionally searching for rejection, requested a random stranger if she needed to share a dessert along with her. The stranger mentioned sure, and the 2 of them teared into some Nutella cookies collectively. The cynical amongst us (me) would possibly suppose that every one of this sounds a bit “self-help by influencers,” a bit “late-stage capitalism.” However I do suppose there are some classes to be gleaned among the many slop. Particularly: the extra you ask, the extra you really expertise. It’s primary math.
In search of rejection, or rejection remedy, isn’t a brand new idea—though it has discovered new reputation. The writer Jia Jiang has primarily based his total profession across the thought, with best-sellers like 2015’s Rejection Proof: How I Beat Worry and Turned Invincible Via 100 Days of Rejection and TED Talks like “What I Discovered From 100 Days Of Rejection,” which has been considered greater than 6.5 million instances. A giant a part of me balks on the thought of gamifying my life in pursuit of success—not each alternative must be made in an effort to “maximize my positive aspects.” However once more, I believe you’ll be able to take doses of an thought with out shopping for into it totally. Like, perhaps I don’t want to hunt a million rejections and completely debase myself within the course of, however placing myself ahead for issues extra usually can solely be an excellent factor. What’s the worst that may occur? Listening to no?
